We communicate in three main ways
The art of communicating effectively is more mysterious than one thinks. Most people do not understand the basic principles of how we are actually able to communicate. How is it that we are able to hear utterances that we label as words and translate them to meaning inside our minds? Yet a lot of the basic information is out there in cyber space and in book shops. However there is not much of a link between the academic side and the practice, and it is only through the experience and practice that one gets to become a really good communicator. And let’s be honest, we all speak, so the practice part happens by default. What would make the difference is to “practice” consciously and notice the results you get, and make adjustments where needed.
At any given moment of communication between people you will be doing 3 things.
Start to notice that we use:
| The spoken word | What you or the person you are talking to are saying |
| Body language | Your facial expressions and the way you are communicating with your body |
| Tonality | How the sound of your voice changes the meaning of the sentence by simply changing where you put your emphasis |
There have been numerous studies into the amount of communication that is non-verbal during conversation and it tends to range between 60% – 80% with as high as 93% during emotionally charged moments.
Like I mentioned earlier the biggest problem in society is that people are not taught to pay attention to this fact of communication. The typical scenario is that people communicate on an unconscious level and when things go wrong, they try to reflect on how they could have done this better. They have no knowledge that by the simple fact of noticing how someone is using their body, tone and words they can improve their communication.
Words are a small part of our communication. It is only when you notice the vast impact of body language and tone that you understand that to be a good communicator one has to pay attention to all 3 and ensure that you body language and tonality is congruent with what you are saying.
Happy practising!
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